Why do I lack confidence at work

Vicky Pike
1 day ago
3 min read

If you’ve ever asked yourself “why do I lack confidence at work?”, you’re not alone.

Lacking confidence at work doesn’t always look like self-doubt in the obvious sense. It almost always shows up in people who are capable, intelligent, and high-performing but who may feel unsettled beneath the surface.

Across my coaching work, I see confidence problems take different forms, but they often stem from similar patterns. This article explores why confidence dips at work, and what actually helps rebuild it.

First principles then, confidence isn’t absent, it's inconsistent.

Many people I coach don’t lack confidence all the time. When I ask them to express how they feel in circumstances when they are confident (very often in their personal lives), I get answers like:

my thinking flows
I can speak clearly and easily
I am open about what I don't know
I know I am good at what I do
I am energised

But honestly, like most emotions (and confidence is an emotion), it ebbs and flows.

So, in certain moments like senior meetings, or making major career decisions, or when you're in unfamiliar environments, it can wobble. And when that happens, compensating behaviours take over:

making a decision, then questioning it repeatedly
over-preparing to avoid getting something wrong
working long hours but still feeling behind
knowing what you don’t want, but struggling to articulate what you do want

The cost of this is can be exhaustion, difficulty delegating, reserving time for reflection and reset. Ironically, this very tiredness then impacts performance and confidence yet further.

Confidence in relation to purpose and values

Confidence isn’t just about belief in your ability. It’s deeply connected to purpose and values.

When you're clear on what you're working towards, why it's important, and how you go about it, confidence often stabilises.

However, when alignment isn't clear, time and again I see procrastination and inertia where, decision making becomes almost impossible resulting in people staying too long in roles that aren't a good fit, eroding confidence still further.

The role of recognition and feedback

Confidence is not purely internal. Long periods of solitary work, limited feedback, or lack of meaningful dialogue can undermine it.

Many people regain confidence simply by:

talking things through
being seen in their thinking
collaborating with others
testing ideas out loud

Confidence strengthens when you’re in conversation, not isolation.

Why focusing on what you don’t want weakens confidence

Another confidence trap I've seen is spending too much time defining what you don’t want. This can feel protective but it’s disorienting. Confidence grows when you clarify what you do want, identifying meaningful criteria for decisions, and above all trusting yourself to adapt rather than predict. Once this happens momentum propels people forward.

What actually helps rebuild confidence at work

I have coached lots of different people across different confidence journeys, and a few things consistently help:

When you understand what drives your behaviour, you can see patterns clearly and without judgement. Knowledge is power in disarming battles with confidence.
Separating feedback from self-worth and using feedback as data, not a verdict.
Creating a space to think, not just do.
Confidence grows through action, so allow learning to happen during times of uncertainty
By connecting with your values and purpose you will have an internal compass when external signals are mixed.

Where coaching fits in

Coaching doesn’t give you answers or confidence on demand.

It provides:

space to think clearly
challenge where fear or self-criticism is driving behaviour
structure when anxiety is masquerading as “needing a plan”
perspective when feedback or uncertainty feels overwhelming

Most importantly, it helps people trust themselves again, even in ambiguity.

A final thought

If you lack confidence at work, it’s rarely because you’re not capable.

More often, it’s because:

you care deeply
you’re navigating complexity or change
your standards are high
and you’re asking meaningful questions about your future

Confidence isn’t something to fix. It’s something to understand, stabilise, and strengthen.

If you’re ready to move forward with clarity and confidence

You don’t need to push harder or become louder. You need space to reconnect with yourself and decide what matters next.

I offer a free 45-minute Coaching Experience Call, where you’ll get real coaching not a sales conversation. We'll explore where you are now, where you want to be, and what’s getting in the way.

You’ll leave with insight, clarity, and grounded direction whether we work together or not.

Book your coaching experience call